Am I a discouraging personality or what?!?

Hey, my grandpa has cancer and might die soon. He lives surrounded by Florida and he's shared about 2 sentences near me in my unharmed life. He's never given me a "Happy Birthday" and have never talked to me over the phone. I haven't see him in 7 years, agree to alone spoke to him. He also hates my dad, who I am terrifically close to, just because he married my mom. He also starts profoundly of fights within our "family." I really don't get the impression bad that he's dying- everybody else is upset in the region of it except for me. Have I lost it pshycologically? Am I sick minded? Am I evil? Was I born that way? Or is it a result of moving stress that's melting my heart?

Please don't be angry at me or tear a strip off me! Thanks.

Answer:
Dear Kitty,
If I was within your situation I would feel impossible to tell apart way. Love is two passageway, you give what you procure, everyone knows that. I side near you on this. Your thoughts and feelings are without doubt adult and natural.
After reading your post, those around you who may disagree are wrong, (my opinion only). People similar to this are in everyones existence, like an obsticle. Sometimes It's best to newly go around them and drive on. No disrespect to the party you wrote of...this applies to anyone.
I hope this helps.
You don't hold any emotional attachment to your grandpa. The certainty that you are ambivalent about his demise freshly reflects the reality that you have no strong ties to him. Your aversion is really quite run of the mill for someone who is observing the loss of a stranger.
Don't beat yourself up over it.
You never said you be happy that he's dying. To not be adjectives torn up that a person you scarcely know is dying does not make you a desperate person. The other member of your family are probably upset because they know him better and, although in that are some bad emotional state, likely do own good memories of him and will get the impression his loss more deeply.
Just be near to support those in your family circle that are effected by this.
S'ok, you don't own to like or love anyone. I assume it is just a "result of electric stress ..". Just as long as this feeling doesn't rule your life span.
I don't think in attendance is anything wrong with you at adjectives. Just because someone is a bialogical family accomplice doesn't mean that they are a solid part of YOUR own flesh and blood. As you said you haven't developed a relationship with him. You don't really know him. Why would you be so upset that a complete stranger is dying?
sounds resembling you love your dad so much that you dis any body he does.what you should do is ask your dad what he thinks you should do.you are afraid it will hurt your dad if you show concern just about your grandpa.i never knew one of my grandpas,and the one i did know be a butt hole,but i sure wish he be still around.talk to dad and suitable luck.
you are not a bad sick minded evil soul

the lack of affection on his member , your wanting to side with your Dad ( who you love AND respect) is conventional

how can you mourn someone who you really never knew, or who never care enough to obtain to know you ?


I too didnt care if my Grandma died - surrounded by fact I never call her Grandma- I called her Queen that how penny-pinching she was


HUGS- dont thrash yourself up over this
I bet your Grandpa isnt beating himself up mentally just about his lack of a relationship beside you
Your not a bad personality what-so-ever!! You are simply not attached to him. You might eventually feel upset but not for him, simply for your other domestic members. They are solely upset because they have some history beside him. Memories and good times. He's approaching a stranger to you. You have no memories near him. There is no reason for you to batter yourself up over this!
If you're not close to a person, it's possible for you to not be incredibly upset at their passing. You should enjoy a respect though, for the fact that someone is at the closing of their life. But you are not required to break down sobbing at the funeral.
No, you're not a desperate person at adjectives. Sounds like your grandpa never give you a reason to love him. If other race are upset, that's their deal not yours. Your vibrations are YOUR own and you can't make yourself perceive bad going on for someone who never treated you with love or liberality in the first place. He may hold treated others well but within were probably a few nation (including you) that he didn't treat well. That's ordinary actually.

Don't verbs about not consciousness bad for him. Just don't be jump for joy and singing and dance at the funeral.
No your not bad (nuff said bout that). However, because of your display you have the opportunity to backing the people you do love. Try to gross sure your there for them and minister to them out during their time of grief. I wouldn't talk going on for your honest opinion of him or enunciate anything that might be hurtful to them or their choice to grieve for him. Just allow them to talk almost how their feeling and comfort them out if needed with life's tasks. Use the opportunity and circumstance (your uneffectedness) to gross your relationships with them closer. If you do next in a opening you can make your grandfather responsible (in his death) for bring your kith and kin closer together, seems a fitting course to end his existence (whether he wanted it or not).
You are not a unpromising person. You are holding on to inner health of hurt and neglect. You probably discern that he is not even a part of your life--not division of the family. Despite the certainty that he is only shared two sentences beside you your whole duration, the man is on his deathbed. Chances are he is reviewing his life and chalking up the mistakes he have made. You don't have to love the man. You don't even enjoy to like the man. Fact remains, he is your grandfather. Out of respect for him and your nearest and dearest, if he reaches out to you, later please do not throw his mistakes back within his face. If he treats you beside kindess, reply in nature. I wish that he would enjoy picked up the phone and called you every year on your birthday. I yearning that you would have picked up the phone every year on his birthday. Those things cannot be changed. You single go around once surrounded by this life. If you want the accident to get to know your grandfather, consequently pick up the phone. If you feel as though you hold made it this far without him and really don't want to know him, next move along.

Your heart is melting because you are hurt by his actions--or absence thereof. You are not sick minded, but bitter. You are upset by things your grandpa hasn't done. Some people do not own "people skills." They don't know how to bid someone just because. They don't know that they are suppose to transport a birthday card. They cause problems because gloomy attention is better than no attention. Give gramps the benefit of the doubt. I bet he is feeling remorseful, but close to most people, it is not easy to say, "I be wrong and I am sorry."

Good luck. I hope that everything works out in the finale.
Hey Kitty dont feel fruitless, just you writing this proves your heart is contained by the right place.We all manipulate grief differently and who knows how you may accomplishment once he passes away. Your sensitivity at the moment is quite ordinary so dont stress. I believe you may feel more guilty in the order of the poor relationship you have have and maybe you might want to sermon to him before he dies you may find him a different human being than you believe him to be. Thoughts are with you
No, you are not a impossible person. Your grandfather have done little to form a loving relationship with you, and what experiences you own had beside him have be negative. It sounds resembling that there have been little at hand for you to form any sort of loving attachment to your grandfather.

Your feelings are your vibrations, and it's OK to have them. There is no necessitate for you to force a sense of loss, when there be never anything to lose in the first place.
You run on and feel how you discern. That's you. Don't try and reason beside it or try and change your fancy based on other peoples opinion. That will only exit you on an emotional roller coaster. Although, it sounds similar to you are searching for closure. May I suggest conversation with him one concluding time and make your mood known to him? This will provide the opportunity for closure for the both of you and you won't spend the rest of your time wondering ,"What If", or "If only I". Chances are he is not aware of your demise and could be wanting to read aloud he's sorry, he just doesn't know how.
Death as expected is total and though you are within your rights to surface as you do maybe in a minute is the time to make that bridge between your Grandfather and yourself. This is my best warning then when he is laid to rest, peace will be near for all involved and at hand will be no future regrets. Good luck.
ur not a bleak person! purely because you dont have an heated relationship wit em!
Your acting quite usually.

MY STORY...

My maternal grandfather and step-grandmother, never have anything to do with me as a child or as an mature.

When we visited their house within the summer, they always shooed me out of the house. During our once a year, couple daytime visits, I never once be allowed to eat contained by the dining room with the grownups, other in the kitchen by myself.

They only just acknowledged that I existed. No personal time with them, no Christmas presents, no birthday cards or presents, no phone call, no nothing.

When I grew up, I wrote them a couple of times trying to establish some sort of connection, no replies. When I be getting married I sent them an invitation, again no reply. It was next that I told my Mother that I was done trying to natter to them.

Fast froward a couple of decades. My step-grandmother is feeble from age and my grandfather is contained by a wheelchair from a car twist of fate he caused by driving drunk.

My Aunt be concerned, how are they going to avoid going to a rest home because of their afflictions. She gets the bright notion that they can live with my wife and I, due to our have a large house, beside extra rooms and the bonus is that we are central to everyone within the family.

I told her within a nice way that she could "F" herself. I informed her, I have no connections with those two those at all. I also made it clear that I have no obligations to strangers and it be up to "their family" to take prudence of them

It took almost 2 years, before some of the elder folks in the clan would talk to me, but that be ok with me. My grandparents done up living at my aunts house for a few years before they bygone away.

So, do what feels right next to you, don't let others push you to run in any direction, you don't want to progress. Your grandfather burned his bridges long ago, no need for you to acquire wet foot.

Good luck and God bless. :o)
Hi Kitty, Your not close to your grandpa but he as cause you moving stress because of the things he as said about your your dad and mom. No your are not evil.You didn't influence," I wish he be dead." Just hang up in at hand and you will be fine. A Friend.
poppy1

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